3 Great Reasons To Kill Yourself Today! Reason 3: The Aftermath?

holding hands to comfort

Last time we talked about how great it feels to die knowing you could’ve achieved your wildest dreams and overcome your biggest challenges. The second before you die you’ll think, “What if?” It’s not too late…Anyway, you’ll just have to die dreaming when you could still make it a reality. People do it all the time.

Continuing our 3 great reasons to kill yourself today mini-series, we will end with the last part hence the reason it’s the end.

Reason 3 – The aftermath.

You finally stop thinking about the What If? question and start thinking about what happens when you’re gone. It’s all good, trust me. If your home is suffering now, don’t worry, it’ll get even worse.

First, who will find you? Imagine your loved one coming in, calling your name, and then they trip over your lifeless body. Blood, vomit, etc everywhere. Good. You don’t feel pain anymore, so it’s all good. You won’t feel a thing when your mother/father/sister/brother/aunt/uncle/grandparent/child/dog/cat breaks down by your corpse. Even better, in some countries the family has to clean up ‘the mess’. Can you imagine scrubbing someone’s brain matter out the carpet?

There’s more joy to come.

Now they have to organise the funeral. What will you wear? Who knows? You never said before you died. Don’t complain if you’re wearing the ugliest outfit on earth for eternity. Open or closed casket. That depends how you did the deed.  Funerals are good business, so you’ll be providing a big boost to the economy. On the other hand, your family could go broke. Unless you want some plain, bland coffin, they’ll have to cut a large cheque. If you died in debt, congrats. Your family just sank in even deeper.

There’s even more goodness!

Now the blame game begins. Couples point the finger at each other, and then beat themselves up over what they should’ve/would’ve/could’ve done. Everyone around you relives every bad moment, wondering whether they pushed you over the edge. Your parents, siblings, relatives, school, employer, society, etc. Who is to blame? We’ve got to blame somebody, right?

Will they ever move on?

Your bedroom, preserved until…Every day loved ones must walk past your room knowing its empty. No one can change it. Keep it just as you left it. Some lucky people can go into the room and stare at the spot where you died. Aw, memories! This will be your shrine for the rest of their lives.

Sounds sad…I mean, it sounds just great! Sure everyone around you will be devastated, but your pain will be over. Does theirs really matter? Maybe not. Maybe.

In conclusion, these were 3 great reasons to kill yourself today. One, you might survive and feel excruciating pain. After a very long recovery you can try again, but risk being trapped in a vegetative or comatose state. Two, you’ll never get that high. Good times follow the bad. You’ll die wondering what could’ve been. If you kill yourself, you’ll never know. Three, you cause the aftermath. Tears, heartbreak, depression, and so much more. Your death will tear people apart. You’ll affect people far and wide because you’re a valuable part of society, no matter how popular you think you are.

You make a difference.

That’s a bonus reason to kill yourself. You won’t make a difference anymore, now or later. You won’t discover a cure for cancer. You won’t go to Mars. You won’t educate a generation. You won’t meet a nation. You won’t have kids. You won’t have grandkids. You won’t leave the biggest positive mark you can on the world.

And that’s a shame. Seriously.

If you don’t get it by now, I’m trying to show you why you shouldn’t do it. This period is like being on a plane in a thick, dark cloud. It’s bumpy, violent, and you think you might die, but you always pass through turbulence and come out the other side. You come out stronger, bigger, smarter, and more experienced. You’re a better person, and it’s just the beginning.

There will be ups and downs. That’s life. Everyone has ups and downs. Downs make us appreciate the highs even more. Look around you. Every one you meet has a tough time. If we all killed ourselves when life was tough, there’d be nobody left. People have survived slavery, genocide, illness, disease, rape, robbery, burglary, miscarriages, failure, unemployment, being demoted, bullying, and every other hell on earth.

Out there, somewhere, right now, is someone who would love to swap places with you. Their situation is far worse off than yours. You lost someone? They lost two. You’re sick? They’re dying. Got a pay cut? They’re unemployed. Times like these you’ve got to appreciate what’s going right because you never know when it could change.

You’re still here…Good. Here are some positive quotes to keep you going. You CAN do this. Yes, you can.

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3 Great Reasons To Kill Yourself Today! Reason 2: What If?

woman holds money

Last time we talked about why pain is a great reason to kill yourself. Who doesn’t want to spend 12 months recovering after falling 47 storeys? Who doesn’t want to swallow pills and wake up in agony, feeling like their belly is on fire? Just thinking of the possible pain makes me feel scared fuzzy inside.

Continuing our 3 great reasons to kill yourself mini-series, we’re moving on to the second reason.

Reason 2 – What If?

What if what?

You know, you look into the future and see what might have been if you’d just stuck it out. This moment will happen. Whether your finger is resting on the trigger or you’re falling from the sky, your mind races through the past and comes to halt. Then you start to wonder…What if I’d stuck around?

I don’t know why you’re considering suicide, but it must be for a pretty good reason. Maybe you lost someone and don’t want to live without them. Maybe it’s a suicide pact and you feel compelled to hold up your side of the deal. Maybe you lost your job and can’t stand the thought of working your way back at your age with your debt. Who knows? Wherever you’re coming from, the What If? question will get you. Suddenly you’ll see all the good possibilities ahead.

Maybe you lost this job but would’ve found a better one. Or maybe you could have started your own business and sold it for a massive profit within a few years. Or maybe you could’ve cut back and stayed home with the kids, the perfect chance to spend more time as a family.

Maybe you’re dying and feel it would be much better to just end it, but then decided not to. You could withdraw your cash and go on a round the world trip. Or write that life story you’ve put off for ages. Or end the feud that’s been eating away at you for decades. You could’ve gone out with a bang, a nice one, with a smile on your face.

Maybe you’re being bullied, but decided to end it once and for all. No, I don’t mean that. I mean learning self-defence and kicking their asses within reason. Or cutting off all contact online and reporting them to the authorities. You could’ve taken on board everything they hate and magnified it. If they hate your nose, wear make-up that draws attention to it. They call you fat, wear highly fashionable clothes to show off your figure. Hate your tallness, rock high heels. Hate being a shorty, wear sandals. Knowing they failed will kill them instead of you.

Anyway, ignore all that!

The point is, when you’re just about to die you’ll be in tears. All those amazing things that could have been will never be because you’ll be dead. Those jobs, people, hobbies, goals, and hundreds of other dreams you had will never be.

You’ll wonder whether you could have made it, and die knowing the answer is, “Yes.”

Oh well. Moving on to reason 3

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3 Great Reasons To Kill Yourself Today! Reason 1: Pain?

woman eating pill

Debt, haters, bad grades, unemployment, unfaithful spouse, etc. There are so many reasons why you should just end it all today. You can work so hard and still find yourself drowning in chaos. No one else seems to understand. That’s why you are considering  or decided to kill yourself. Yes, today, tomorrow, next month, or next time you’re stressed out, you’re going to kill yourself.

But there’s a problem.

You’re not totally sure that you want to do this. You’re on the edge – pun intended – and just need that little push. Well, today’s your lucky, and last, day. Here are 3 great reasons to kill yourself today!

Reason 1 – Pain!

In the movies people end it so quickly. A bullet, a pill or even a jellyfish (SPOILER: Seven Pounds). They write their note and pass over to the other side. Job done. Fade to black. Credits roll.

However, in real life it just isn’t that simple…

What happens if you survive? Something amazing, actually. You feel excruciating pain!

People assume that popping pills will put you to sleep and then you die. They picture a peaceful euthanasia death after a nice nap. No. Instead, people gobble a handful of pills, pass out, and wake up to hell. Suddenly their personal problems don’t seem so bad. Your insides are burning, you’re scared as hell, and, even worse, you’re not dead. Just very much alive and very much in pain.

So why not try something effective like a gunshot to the head?

Same problem.

Yes, people have survived gunshots to the head. New York City cop Kevin Brennan survived a shot to the head by a gang member. There’s a small chance, but 5% survive a head shot. Of course, you won’t be the same if you survive. What if you can’t talk, walk, feed yourself, or change yourself? Great! Being a ‘vegetable’ goes well with hellish pain. Physical pain, anyway. When you realise your body is now a prison, you’ll feel mental pain too.

Okay, so why not try something even more effective like jumping off a building?

Good one. However, you might survive that too. Alcides Moreno fell 47 storeys and made a full recovery. Unfortunately his brother wasn’t so lucky. Still, there’s a chance you will survive. After a long recovery – learning to speak, eat, drink, and walk again – you’ll have to make that jump again and cross your fingers harder this time.

Then there’s that other thing about jumping off buildings…You know, you might hit someone. Danny Suhr was one of the 9/11 firefighters who was hit by someone who fell/jumped. His childhood sweetheart Nancy was left behind. Would you like to accidentally kill someone who tried to save you?

Still, pain is just a necessary evil, I suppose. Who cares if you and several others end up hurt? At the end of the day, you (hopefully) won’t be around anymore. Screw everyone else. As long as you find some 100% effective way of never coming back, everything will go according to plan.

Pain…Don’t you just love it?

Reason 2 is…

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