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Cutting Fitness: 5 Reasons Why Women Shouldn’t Lift Weights

Cutting Fitness: 5 Reasons Why Women Shouldn’t Lift Weights

Aerobics, dancing, running, and much more. Women really can do it all. They need to keep fit now they’re more active outside the home. No matter how fantastically fit they become, there is one exercise they’re still not allowed to do. The one, the only, strength training. Women can climb every mountain, conquer every continent, and swim every sea, but they are forbidden from lifting more than a two-pound dumbbell. Here are five reasons why.

1. Metabolism Booster

It’s a myth that a pound of muscle burns 50 calories a day. However, muscle does burn more than fat, three times more. Just 10 pounds of extra muscle a year would burn off almost twenty-two thousand calories. Muscle also burns extra calories during exercise, so you’ll get another boost! This is a disaster because women should not burn extra calories. The more calories you burn, the more you can eat. Women aren’t supposed to eat too much.

2. Sexy Definition

Some people don’t like women with defined bodies. Muscular biceps, triceps, thighs, and calves are avoided by not doing strength training. Women can easily avoid celebrity abs, toned arms, and firm thighs by avoiding strength training. Normal women should stick with the saggy, flabby, jiggly look.

3. Time-Saver

Another myth is that exercise should take hours a day. It’s the perfect excuse for people not to bother exercising at all. For once, an excuse is a good thing! Intense strength training boosts your metabolism for up to 24 hours after your session ends. This means you could do as little as 15 minutes today and keep burning calories until tomorrow. Cardio calorie burn only lasts up to an hour after you finish. Ladies, keep doing those three-hour exercise marathons. Let the men do quick sessions and get on with their busy lives.

4. Aerobic

Yes, strength training is also aerobic. Just watch an intense strength training to see the buckets of sweat, pink puffy cheeks, and out-of-breath men struggling to lift that dumbbell. Lifting weights, even very slowly, works the body hard. Your muscles, joints, bones, and fat are working harder than ever, so it’s natural that you get out of breath. Of course women shouldn’t do this. They should stick with hours of cardio aerobics instead of brief, effective workouts with weights.

5. Strong Bones

Speaking of joints and bones, strength training works them too. This might not seem like a big deal when you’re young, but it will during your twilight years. For women, menstrual cycles drain our bodies of iron, which weakens our bones and joints. When we hit menopause, old age sets in, so our bones and joints don’t get a chance to recover. Good. Women should have weak bones and joints because then we’re at risk of anaemia, osteoporosis, and general aches and pains. You’ll enjoy doing hours of cardio with bad knees and exhaustion (anaemia does that…). Oh well.

A higher metabolism, a celebrity body, more spare time, better fitness, and strong bones for life are five reasons why women shouldn’t strength train. The life improvement lifting weights causes should be for men only. Women can stick with cardio and tiny dumbbells a baby could lift while men will get the fantastic benefits of weight lifting.
Sounds fair to me.

Cutting Fitness: Best of the Worst – Weekly Fitness Blog Round-Up

Cutting Fitness: Best of the Worst – Weekly Fitness Blog Round-Up

It’s time for the first another episode of Best of the Worst: Weekly Fitness Blog Round-Up. Each week I’ll share two of the best of the worst fitness blogs I’ve found. I’ll provide a brief quote to show how bad the blog post is. Go there and read the rest at your own peril. I won’t come to rescue you…

‘You Are Not Bound by a Number’ by Diane, FIT TO THE FINISH

“I’d encourage you to set goals that are appropriate for yourself, but don’t be bound by the magic number […] your “inner voice” knows what is a healthy weight for you.” – Fit To The Finish, Source.

Unfortunately for Diane, this is some terrible advice. The rest of the blog post was even worse.

It’s easy to ignore the scale, measurements, and percentages, but this is the WRONG thing to do. When you obsess over figures and dates, you get depressed if you don’t meet impossible expectations. You’ll reach a number you assumed would make you happy, but it doesn’t, so you’ll just binge your way back to your starting weight. You’ll feel even worse as the lost fat returns, but you shouldn’t because regaining after weight loss is an achievement. That’s why so many do it! Repeat the regain process like other dieters do: Fat and thin, up and down, back and forth, forever and ever.

Yes, others like Diane think there’s more to life than freaking out over numbers. You could focus on general fitness, happiness, health, and various other goals you achieved on your fitness journey. Maybe your endurance is better than ever. Maybe you didn’t overeat for five consecutive days. Maybe you walked across town instead of driving. There are always more non-weight related successes to celebrate, which means there are many chances to feel proud. It shows that so many good things can happen whether the scale rewards you or not…Is there more to life than your weight?

Nah! That’s a load of nonsense!

See what Diane’s done? Her positive, inspirational blog is corrupting my mind. Help!

Even More Weight Loss Tips and Tricks‘ by Jack, JACK SH*T, GETTIN’ FIT

“One way to get more exercise while sitting on the sofa and watching TV is to get up and go exercise.” – Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit, Source.

Need I say more? This fitness humour should be against the law…

Jack shares more on the blog post, but it’ll make you laugh so don’t go there! Even worse, when you look past the humour you realise he’s actually giving great advice. Jack, you disappoint me! We can’t have people following such good advice and getting fit. This messes with the diet industry’s plan for world domination! Instead, learn the lessons he disguised behind wit, and do the opposite. This will help you fall way off the wagon and regain lots of fat ASAP!

That’s it for today. There’ll be more next week.

PS. If I don’t post next week it means I’ve either forgotten or been kidnapped by Diane and Jack as revenge for showing how terribly motivational their blogs are (Yuck!!!!!!). Oh well. I’ll be back….

Cutting Fitness: 5 Ways To Do Intuitive Eating Wrong!

Cutting Fitness: 5 Ways To Do Intuitive Eating Wrong!

Counting calories sucks! All that measuring, weighing, counting, and tracking leads to severe feelings of deprivation. You can’t eat this and you can’t eat that because you’re obsessing over macronutrients all the time. First you start with only counting calories. Soon you move on to tracking carbs, protein, and fat. Then you freak out if your Vitamin A/B/C/D/Q (?) is too low. You know you’ll just DIE if you don’t get enough Iron and Calcium and…

Thank goodness there’s another way….a better way…a new way…INTUITIVE EATING, the close friend of PORTION CONTROL. Finally fat people have discovered the closely guarded secret of the naturally skinny. Will it work for us? There’s only one way to find out…

Here are 5 Easy Steps to Intuitive Eating. Enjoy!

Step One – Binge

You’ve probably heard that Intuitive Eating involves only eating when you’re hungry. So-called experts say you should wait for ‘true’ hunger before eating. True hunger is your stomach grumbling, you feeling faint, you getting grouchy, etc. False hunger is your brain saying it’s time to eat or craving some food you’ve just smelt. Apparently this is what naturally skinny people do. Well, screw them all! Do I sound jealous? I totally am, damn it am not. Not at all.

Instead of copying what slim Intuitive Eaters do, follow fat ones. First of all, overweight people who follow Intuitive Eating binge. Decide what type of binge eater you’ll are, and overeat. Clear out the fridge. Go to buffets and devour everything on the table…You might eat the table too, but that’s a tad weird if you’re still sober. Eat whatever you like! Be free of nutrition labels! Eat to your heart’s content!

2. HUGE Portions Only

Intuitive Eaters avoid counting calories by only eating reasonable portions. They might take a fist-sized portion of whatever they want to eat and not eat seconds unless they’re still hungry. This is supposed to stop them from overeating. They consume enough for their size and weight, and nothing more. I’ve got a better idea…

Why have a fist-sized portion when you can enjoy a thigh-sized portion instead? Yes, you read that correctly. Take thigh-sized portions of everything you eat. As you lose weight your thigh will get smaller, and so will your portions. Smaller portions means less calories, which is handy because your metabolism decreases as you get smaller. Don’t worry about getting bigger plates. Just stack your food sky high or go back for seconds, thirds, tenths, hundredths, etc.

3. Unhealthy Food

Intuitive Eaters mostly eat healthy food. They say Intuitive Eating healthy, natural, unrefined food leaves us more satisfied and fuller than high calorie junk you wouldn’t feed a street rat. Apparently, this wholesome food also curbs cravings for unhealthy, refined junk because healthy stuff provides everything we need. Yeah, sure…

Would you rather have a burger or a salad? I agree. Yes, you could have a colourful, nutritional, filling, tasty salad with a meaty side dish…but I know you’d rather have a greasy, oily, vomit-inducing burger full of ingredients you can’t pronounce and didn’t know existed. If you see a salad, run for the hills, and beyond if the salad gives chase!

4. Live To Eat – Eat Until You Die

Usually Intuitive Eating involves breaking the connection between you and food. If you’re an emotional eater you probably eat to ease stress, numb your feelings, etc. Only eating to fuel your body means you’ve got to confront your problems and deal with them. In theory, you’ll become a fitter and stronger person, physically and mentally, because you’ve solved your problems AND broken your food addiction. Phew! The logical nonsense is over…

People say you should ‘Eat to live’, but I always say you should ‘Live to eat’. Plan your entire being around your next meal. Fantasise all day about dinner. Dream at night about breakfast. Let lunch be the highlight of your day, week, and even your year. Food will come first before anything else, including family, friends, and health. Live to eat until you die.

5. Stuff Your Stomach

Intuitive Eating is ‘intuitive’, so you should stop eating before you feel uncomfortably full. Some people even stop before they’re full. Over time, your stomach shrinks to compensate for having less food. A smaller stomach gets full quicker, so you’ll naturally eat less in time. Bad idea!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s much better to stuff your stomach. If you’ve got a flat stomach with sexy abs, you’re doing this fitness jazz all wrong. Eat until you look pregnant (second trimester). The extra food will stretch out your stomach so it fits more food inside, which means it’ll take longer to get full. This means you’ll eat more and more over time until you’ve regained all the weight and then some. There’s no shame in this. Just join one of the ‘Fat and Happy’ crews lurking somewhere.

Of course this intuitive lifestyle also applies to drinking water and being active. Who craves water like people crave alcohol and fruit juice? No one! Who jumps out of bed each morning to run 2 miles before work because they like it? No one! If you want water, drink it, but I bet you won’t. If you want to exercise, do it, but I bet you won’t. Just chill out and go back to the old habits that made you fat in the first place.

Intuitive Eating is definitely for everyone, no matter whether you’re losing fat, gaining weight or maintaining a healthy size. Trust your body and believe it will show you the right path to that size 30 bikini. No big deal.